INNOCENCE LOST: THE HIDDEN CASUALTIES OF THE IRAQ WAR PROFILES Wentz Jerome Henry Shanaberger By ANNETTE RAINVILLE Scripps Howard News Service December 15, 2004 Corey Shanaberger was playing with her children on the floor one recent afternoon when she found herself reminiscing with them about their father, Wentz Jerome Henry Shanaberger III. "We always talk about him. I try to help them remember the fun things," she said about her husband, who was 33 when he was killed in Iraq on March 24. According to the Department of Defense, Shanaberger, known to friends by the nickname "Baron," had been investigating a suspicious vehicle when he came under attack by individuals using small arms and an improvised explosive device. Four months after his death, his widowed wife moved to Melbourne, Australia, with her four children, Jesse, 13, Audrey, 4, and three-year-old twins Jack and Grace. She moved to be closer to her family. Making the decision to move wasn't easy. Corey wanted to remain close to her in-laws, Cheryl and Wentz Shanaberger II, who live in Fort Pierce, Fla. She also wanted to be close to her husband's burial site. But her home in Fayetteville, N.C., offered no escape from the men and women in military uniforms. It served as a constant reminder that her husband would not be returning home. Cheryl Shanaberger said her granddaughter, Audrey, would sometimes become angry when she saw other soldiers in uniform, and her grandson Jesse would ask, "Why do they get to come home?" "I really wanted to leave," Corey said. Each of the children has been affected differently since they heard of their father's death. When Corey's oldest son, Jesse, saw men in uniform at his house, he knew something was wrong. "He let out an agony type of scream," said Corey. "I still remember it very vividly." Corey broke the news to her three younger children about their father's death by telling them a story. She explained how brave people travel overseas to help other families and their daddy was one of those brave people. She then told them he had been hurt and would not be coming home. Instead, he was now a star in the sky. Corey remembered her daughter, Audrey, immediately began to cry and her twin son, Jack, kept telling his mother, "No, they're going to let him off the plane. They're going to let him off the plane!" For his viewing, Baron requested that his children see him in his coffin in hopes that would provide closure. "At the time, I thought that was kind of harsh," said Baron's mother, Cheryl. "But now I hope they'll remember." During her son's viewing, she recalled that all her grandchildren acted very grown up. Her granddaughter Grace greeted her grandmother at the door, took her hand and said, "Grandma, you have to come and see my daddy," then led her to the coffin. Her three-year-old twin grandchildren kept climbing up on the coffin during the viewing to touch and see their father. Corey arranged for each child to bring something of their own to place in their father's coffin. Jesse chose a picture of him with his dad, Audrey chose a stuffed puppy dog that her father had bought her, Jack gave him a little red truck and Grace brought along her favorite doll. "Audrey always talks about that puppy dog being in heaven and how much she misses it," said her mother. Corey and her children celebrated what would have been Baron's 34th birthday on September 16. They made handmade birthday cards, tied them to helium balloons and let them float away. "The kids, the little ones, wanted to do it when the stars came out so their daddy could see them coming" said Corey. Regardless of the time that has lapsed since Baron's death, Corey said she and her children still find it difficult to deal with. "Everyone tells you it will get easier," said Corey. "Each day I feel a little worse." Recently Grace, one of the twins, started talking about hating her daddy because he wasn't coming home, and Jack would often ask her, "Why can't we get a doctor to fix daddy?" Corey said her oldest son, Jesse, often deals with his emotions privately but there have been times when she has picked him up from school and he just broke into tears. She and her children are currently receiving counseling to help cope with their loss. They will spend the holidays with her family in Australia and Corey hopes having different family members around will help her children through it. In January, Baron's brigade unit, the Army's 21st Military Police Company, 16th Military Police Brigade, is expected to return to Fort Bragg. Corey and Jesse will fly in to meet them. Shanaberger's parents plan to attend the event as well and speak with soldiers who knew Baron. A military police brigade complex is in the process of being built in Fort Bragg and will be named "Sergeant First Class Wentz J.H. Shanaberger III Military Police Complex" in honor of Baron. Each night when the stars come out at night, Corey tells her children that it is their daddy coming out of heaven to watch over them and they all blow him a kiss goodnight. "I always tell my children, 'You might forget what your daddy looked like but always remember he felt like,' " Corey said. "Always remember his hugs, always remember his kisses and always remember his love."